PDF Ebook What Do You Want from Me?: Learning to Get Along with In-Laws, by Terri Apter

PDF Ebook What Do You Want from Me?: Learning to Get Along with In-Laws, by Terri Apter

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What Do You Want from Me?: Learning to Get Along with In-Laws, by Terri Apter

PDF Ebook What Do You Want from Me?: Learning to Get Along with In-Laws, by Terri Apter

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Review

“A keenly perceptive interpretation of the kinship structures, ‘fracture lines,’ and recurrent emotions―resentment, ambivalence, acceptance―that are part and parcel of the in-law experience.” - The Atlantic“With professional grace, Apter exposes the emotional minefields that couples often navigate around in-laws, and the ease with which they become stuck in negative (and familiar) attitudes toward them.” - Publishers Weekly

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About the Author

Terri Apter is a writer, psychologist, and retired Fellow of Newnham College, Cambridge. Her nine books include The Sister Knot and What Do You Want from Me? She lives in Cambridge, England.

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Product details

Paperback: 288 pages

Publisher: W. W. Norton & Company; Reprint edition (July 19, 2010)

Language: English

ISBN-10: 0393338533

ISBN-13: 978-0393338539

Product Dimensions:

5.5 x 0.8 x 8.3 inches

Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)

Average Customer Review:

3.6 out of 5 stars

25 customer reviews

Amazon Best Sellers Rank:

#242,695 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

First the Good One should never speak poorly of their husbands mother. It isn't necessary to put someone else down to convey your hurt feelings or confusion. Its also important to make sure you are not projecting any thing onto a mother in law that comes from your own past.The BadThe author puts an enormous sense of responsibility on a daughter in law to make sure the mother in law is included. While admirable it is poor advice to place the burden of pleasing people onto others. We control our own joy it is not someone's job to please us. The author needs to reevaluate her implied burden and instead encourage more clear communication between a daughter and mother in law and encourage them both to lay aside their pride and humble themselves and allow each other to be wives mothers and grandmothers without hurting disrespecting or encroaching on the other. The author describes a woman named "Alice" who had to remind her husband to call and send letters to his mother her mother in law. It is not a woman's job in my opinion to force a husband to do these things. If her mother in law wanted a caring son she should have raised one. It is not a daughter in law or son in law's job to fill in for poor parenting.Overall the book was very insightful but I believe the author missed a good opportunity to teach women to lay aside their own expectations/demands and instead focus on encouraging mothers and daughters in law to respect one another s roles as people as mothers as wives and as women.

This book helped me see things from my mother in laws perspective. Now I’m able to put myself in her shoes and in my husbands shoes and understand the “why” that I didn’t before. The author has been been both a daughter in law and a mother in law so she has experienced both roles and can help those of us who are still only the daughter in law in our families.

It was a good read, had scenarios that were relatable and I thought it provided a good wholesome view of certain situations where it's really hard to understand where someone else is coming from.

Excellent insights into the workings of a difficult family system. Well researched and thought out. Excellent exercises. Well done.

Good Book. Real Facts. Real examples. I love that it gives you both perspectives: Mother-in law point of view and Daughter in Law point of view

Changed my life. I had my boyfriend read it and helped me understand a different perspective. I made better decisions so did buy boyfriend and we solved our in law issues.

This book addresses in-law contention with a focus on mother-in-law/daughter-in-law contention. I would recommend this to someone who is not yet married or who has only minor contention with in-laws. For me, it was not very practical and it seems the majority of the advice was appeasement-focused. The other downside was that it read like a dissertation-turned-seminar-lecture (like reading a professor's PowerPoint), which was terribly distracting and unengaging. I should have seen this coming when the author made apologies for her writing style in the preface.If you have serious/severe contention with your in-laws, try Toxic In-Laws by Susan Powers instead.

Apter tackles a subject of concern to parents of married adult children. I know because when I lecture on my own book, "Don't Bite Your Tongue: How to Foster Rewarding Relationships with your Adult Children", parents frequently ask questions about in-laws. Teri Apter's book shows insight and has some great suggestions for improving these relationships.Worth the read.

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What Do You Want from Me?: Learning to Get Along with In-Laws, by Terri Apter PDF

What Do You Want from Me?: Learning to Get Along with In-Laws, by Terri Apter PDF

What Do You Want from Me?: Learning to Get Along with In-Laws, by Terri Apter PDF

What Do You Want from Me?: Learning to Get Along with In-Laws, by Terri Apter PDF